COMMUNICATIONS

How often do I meet people who tell me that they've got problems.

What kind?

When I ask, they tend to say they have issues with communicating with each other.

When we explore further the roots of the relational problems, often the concern has to do
with lack of attention to others, the spouse, the boss, the sibling, the teacher.

When one is tired or unwilling to give his or her fullest attention to another, especially best friends, or, a spouse, for example, one needs to say:

"I'm really bushed now. May we meet after supper to check in with each other?"

A couple was having difficulty with intimacy because of the medications each were taking daily.

They were not being direct with each other about the effects of the drugs on their system.

When one or the other was interested in intimacy, each of them seemed unwilling, disinterested or consumed with a headache, for example.

When in session, I ask them to take four minutes to talk to each other about this particular difficulty.

Usually, when I return to complete the counseling session, they're smiling.

What's the smile about, I inquire.

We talked it out with each other, they respond, still smiling.

Direct, functional communications.

Getting what on my heart and mind out into the mind and heart of another requires plenty of effort and focus.

Effective communications requires painting the picture as concretely as possible so another understands better.