Thursday, December 29, 2011

Driven Sons

We hear about them all the time.

Nothing pleases them. They're driven to do more. Satisfaction seems far from them.

Often, they are sons of a parent who drank.

These sons learned the classic characteristics of adult children of an alcoholic parent: Don't trust, talk or feel.

I know.

I had to re-learn them after undoing them in years of counseling with a counselor who was also a child of a parent who drank as she grew up.

Driven.

There's something in their eyes, posture and place in life.

Their dads, like mine, perhaps, meant well but was not present to affirm probably because his own birth mom died when he was six-months old. His dad remarried and his stepmother was the family secret in her abusiveness that, no doubt, she experienced growing up also.

Call it original sin.

People pass on what they learned.

They live what they learned from significant parents.

Unless they undo toxic tapes, they will project this on to others for the remainder of their living years on earth.

Treatment works.

I know.

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